Where have all my BFFs’ gone?!?!

Best Friends Forever. Think about that for a moment, how cringe-worthy and stupid is that! Yet in secondary school we said it so much and to what end?

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When it came to choosing the right friends in school, we were well and truly Clueless!

We all start school with that one group of friends that we think we’re going to be friends with forever; the naivety of it all is funny now. As you get older you realise that life isn’t that simple. People change as life progresses. People grow apart as those friends from school are now totally different people, and actually, that’s okay!

Sometimes I believe we remain friends with people not purely because we like the person but because you’ve been bound together for so long that you feel an obligatory sense of togetherness. Despite being more aware of one another’s flaws, an unrelenting loyalty has been forged.Despite this loyalty you may think to yourself that if I met you now, being the person I am, would I like you? Would we still be friends?

Our character and personality mature as the years pass by and most of us are entirely different from the crowd-pleaser we attempted to be back in school. I think everyone has experienced a need to act a certain way to please peers; whether that be liking a certain band/clothing/person, anything. As we get older we no longer feel the need to do this. From teenage years to adulthood we are able to understand what we like, self reflect and grow as people and know that other people’s approval is not actually required. If I had known what I know now then less days would have been wasted crafting an image that was appealing to others when I merely needed to appeal to myself.

These people that were in our lives as we were growing up may not be in our lives in five years time. I know this from first hand experience. Most things are temporary and unfortunately this includes friendships. I truly believe that people come into our lives for a reason; to teach us something, or maybe just to prepare us in some way for something later on. I don’t regret the friendships I’ve had in the past, although I do wish I hadn’t spent so much undeserved time on people. But this is something I have learnt through getting older.. Unfortunately I have become hard, blunt and sometimes quite direct to protect myself. My time is extremely precious and I don’t want any of it wasted, so if you want to leave, leave. I’m not going to stand in your way. I learnt this the hard way, but i’m definitely a better person for it.

Myself, I am one of these low-maintenance friends. I don’t need you to call me everyday for me to know that you care. A text every now and then suffices, and that’s more than likely all you’ll get from me too. I may think of you all the time, but life gets in the way, work gets in the way, relationships get in the way and just because we don’t see each other all the time it doesn’t mean we’re no longer friends, does it?

I have the strongest friendship with my best friend Jessica. We’ve been best friends for eleven years and we met on the first day of secondary school. I remember it perfectly, we were both a bit weird so we stuck together and it worked. We just immediately clicked. Once she brought me a courgette to school and told me she grew it herself; my mind is still struggling to process that moment but I love it. Through the years we have always stayed close and we have always been there for each others big moments in life. My best friend is one of my biggest fans. She is continuously supportive of me and whenever I have a confidence knock she brings me up. She understands me fully and knows how my mind works. She is family to me and I could never thank her enough for always being there and loving me, like she loves her sisters. We see each other on average maybe twice a month depending on what’s going on in our lives and this works for us. We both work full time and we understand that as adults we aren’t able to see each other everyday. When we do see each other, we pick up just where we left off and it’s perfect.

I have a handful of true friends and this works wonderfully for me. I can count them on one hand, and I love each of them for their individual qualities and would not change them for the world. It has taken me a while to realise that it’s okay to only have a few friends, because it truly is quality and not quantity.

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