Unfortunately, there is still so much stigma attached to mental illness and we are still so unsure as to what we can say, what’s deemed appropriate, and what’s not. Especially to those who don’t struggle daily.
I believe anxiety is among the most common of mental illnesses. It is also one of the most crippling for some people.
I say sorry to often and I don’t always know why. I guess I’m sorry to have ever of been a bother. I worry about not being in control of certain aspects of my own life, my future and just other stuff. I worry about things that I cant do anything about. Things like getting on or off the bus, or having to walk to another bus stop instead of my normal bus stop. Things like getting old, or loosing people that are close to me. I struggle to sleep at night overthinking and worrying about things; I am unable to switch off. I feel like I am constantly thinking of 10,000 million zillion things at once. I try to justify one thought to myself in hopes of it settling my mind and it leaving and then BAM another one pops up in it’s place. Some days I’m a wreck and I just want to stay in bed all day.
However, I do not have that choice. My bills aren’t going to pay themselves and my career won’t progress without my own hard work. So most days I put on a smile and I crack on. I get on with it and try my best to disregard my issues. I treat myself to nice foods and pretty things for doing one of the most hardest things in the world some days; getting out of bed. I try to be kind to everyone I meet and hope they’re not fighting the same battle I am, and I’m extra kind in case they are. I spread love and continuously try to build people up because it’s important that we support each other as much as we can. We don’t know the battles each of us are facing.
The stigma attached to Anxiety is one that saddens me deeply. If people do not understand, they call it laziness. They don’t understand why you’re cancelling so they call it antisocial. More people will attach the blame to you, instead of just accepting the situation.
I think maybe I’d like to go out more, but I don’t like unpredictable people. It worries me not knowing how people will act and it makes me feel unsafe.
I am lucky enough to have an incredible partner, a great family and a lovely group of friends that smoother me with love and kindness and constantly support me. My friends aren’t mad when I cancel or ask to reschedule because they understand and even in times they don’t understand they try their hardest to.
I hope to raise awareness so that people can speak freely about their own anxiety, issues or quirks. So people don’t feel like they can’t say anything; there’s too many people suffering with anxiety for this to be a taboo subject and no-body should feel ashamed of how they feel or who they are.
Life is hard at times, but it’s made easier when people are kind and we can support each other through difficult days.
Keep spreading love and kindness everywhere!!! 🌸
All my love,